Not Knowing How To Refuse him The Keys

I refused him the keys
not knowing how to be older than 13
I gambled with not getting older than 13
not knowing how sheer the face was
I let the mountain slide by indestructible and complete
not knowing the finality the rush the slam of inertia
I dreamed I was a fish in the air
not knowing the cyborg touch of body and physics blood and mechanics
my body scaled into leather fingers gilled the wheel right
foot finned into the speed not
knowing power steering and centripetal force I
let the camber wash me through annealed
anointed not knowing the inescapable gravity of addiction
I let him drink so I could drive not knowing
the distance of things not knowing the
force of the law not knowing my father’s
accelerating pride in my adolescent manhood
not knowing the fluid the dynamic the air the rubber
the bending of light around mass the inexorable cracking
frost heaving crumbling of everything we pave over
not knowing how to refuse him the keys
I dreamed I was a fish in the air following
this ribbon this scratch in the rock
letting the mountain slide by
indestructible and complete

~ Paul Pearson

Paul Pearson lives and writes in Edmonton where he has been a member of the poetry community for almost two decades. Paul spent a number of years working for the Alberta Government and the Alberta Foundation for the Arts as the Writing and Publishing Consultant. Since moving on to other opportunities within government last year, Paul has re-discovered both the time and energy to write.

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